Tuesday, July 22, 2008
PR speech critiques for 10 am class
Please post your critique for your speech buddy here if you are in the 10:00 am class. Be sure to use your feedback form as a guide. Remember, use details to support your comments. You have to back up your comments with enough details that the speaker has specific information to use in their next performance. Roughly, three strong strengths and three improvements would be the minimum needed in this post. Feel free to comment more if you choose. Remember, Feedback is a gift. Let's help each other be great speakers!
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13 comments:
Vonnie,
Your speech today was fairly decent. I liked the fact that you involved the audience in your presentation by asking questions during your presentation. You were very audible and spoke clearly throughout most of the presentation. You also seemed to be sufficiently knowledgeable on your subject which was great.
However, you do have to work on some things for future presentations. Your eyes tend to wander off to the wall and screen when talking to the audience. You should focus more on maintaining eye contact. Your audience will respond to you much better if you maintain eye contact with them.
It was great that you stated facts to support your presentation, but you need to verbally cite these facts in your speech. The audience may not be sure if you are just saying these things or if you actually used a credible source.
Another thing that can be worked on is the use of slang. The audience should not be referred to as "you guys." In a professional setting you should address the audience in a professional manner.
Overall I think you did a good job in informing the audience about your topic. If you just work on these suggested corrections I think you would be an outstanding speaker.
-Jose
Irving Pole
My speech partner was Vanessa Maldonado. She presented her speech today on the Shea Stadium. She started off by giving some background info about the stadium. But unfortunately she did not include an “attention getter.” Her main points were the World Series, memorable players which included Tom Seaver, Daryl Strawberry, and Mike Piazza, and memorable occurrences like concerts. Vanessa had good transition in and out of each topic. She also had great credibility, her volume and rate was just right, and she had very good articulation especially with her word choice. Visually I think did a pretty good job also. She made wonderful eye contact with the audience, stayed in a nice posture but lacked some gestures. The language that Vanessa used was exceptional, she didn’t use in slang at all and all of her words were understandable. In conclusion three strengths that Vanessa showed was good voice projection, eye contact, and audience connection. Some of her weaknesses were her “ums,” not citing her sources verbally and the lack of gestures. Overall I think Vanessa did exceptional on her speech and deserves a grade that reflects her hard work.
Anjel,
Your speech today was on a scale from one to ten a seven. Your introduction was strong and an attention getter. By asking the audience questions and acting excited about the website you had to present. You started off with a big smile on your face and a positive outlook shinning. There are three things that I believe you can improve on that will make your presentation better. To begin with, you need to not rely on the slide show so much. You tend to constantly look at the power point breaking your train of thought. Another point I recommend working on is eliminating the “ums” and “uhhs” throughout your speech. When ever you started a new point you began to collect your thoughts and an “umm” popped out. Last thing you should improve on is sourcing your information verbally more. You had tons of facts but I only heard about five sources.
You had many strengths present all through the speech. One of the strengths that were present was the inflection of your voice. You spoke loud and acted immensely energetic towards flickr. When something important came up you spoke louder and were more pronounced. Also, your slide show was extremely smooth everything was connected. You had no trouble moving from one idea to the next. Ultimately, you engaged the audience and had a conversation tone. For instance, you asked questions and brought up personal experience. You also used excellent links that were entertaining like the video of the child. Great job on your first presentation!!!!
Jose
The speech you gave today was very imformative. When you spoke, I felt that you knew exactly what your topic was about. You spoke at a great rate and projected loud enough for everyone to understand your speech.
Your attention grabber was closely related to your topic. The graphics you used also played a part in keeping the attention of the audience. I liked the way you went out of your way to add more information about how they contribute to their community.
There wasn't really any negative feedback I could give from your presentation. Just make sure you give the whole audience attention.
Overall, I would say you did a great job.
Denna,
Let me first start off by commending you on your very first speech. You really got the audience's attention with your introduction. You connected the product to your audience and with yourself. The story you told about you younger cousins was cute and personal, something that people will remember. I also like how you kept eye contact throughout your presentation. There were times when you focused on one person, and times when you looked out and scanned the whole crowd, but for the most part your primary focus was on the audience. It gave me a sense of being talked to and not talked at.
A few things that you may need to work on however, is your choice of language and flow. There was one point in your presentation when you said "and stuff" and it kind of through me of a bit. You also need to work on the "umms, and ahhs" that come with first time jitters. Lastly with such a well organized speech I was a little disapointed with how you ended it. Follow up a strong presentation with a strong closing, not just "Okay!"
Overall I enjoyed your performance. It was both informative and entertaining.
Raquel,
Your speech was ok but you have some pet peevs when you are speaking. You had a very good articulated intro and you tried very hard to keep eye contact with the audience. This will surely get you the points you need to do well with your speech. However, you have to get rid of the "ums" because that can cause your audience to drift off from your topic. Also, slow down as you speak so you can calm down and remember your thoughts. There were many times where you were going to fast and you kinda forgot your information.
In addition, make sure you use the correct diction because you used "locked up" which is a slang. Remember, sometimes you will be speaking in front of people other than your peers, you will have to portray yourself in a different way. Yet, the projection of your voice was very good, everyone understood and heard what you talked about.
In conclusion, these are the only few things you have to worry about in my opinion. But don't worry we are here to help.
My speech partner was Harry Hairston, his topic was Guitar Hero. I felt that his deliverance was better than I expected. Judging by the three weeks that I’ve known him I noticed that he is a rapid talker. During our practices I suggested to him that in order to save time and insure clarity he should slow down his pace.
While presenting I noticed that he took my advice and slowed his speaking very well. Some of his language wasn’t the best his use of the word “yall” was the only word I captured that was inappropriate. He made sure to site his information on some slides. His speech was also somewhat entertaining, he used his sense of humor to his advantage and kept the audience interested.
His use of hand gestures showed a sense of confidence that he knew his information was valid and he knew what he was talking about. The interaction with the audience also contributed to the entertainment.
My speech partner was Shameer Horton. Shameer did his speech about Wawa. Shameer spoke very clear and had a nice tone that was very welcoming during his presentation. Shameer also sounded very confident and seemed as if he knew what he was talking about. Shameer’s speech was also very informative and taught many listeners history and other fun facts about Wawa that we did not know before.
Shameer did need help in many other areas in his speech. One thing that Shameer did not have was a thesis statement so the audience and I did not know what he was going to be talking about in his presentation. Another thing that Shameer did not do was site his sources so he did not have credibility in his presentation. Shameer also didn’t have any connectives so he was jumping from point to point. Lastly, Shameer didn’t have a conclusion and that was a prior issue because he didn’t recap what his presentation was all about. But overall i believe that Shameer's presentation was very well spoken and presented.
Harry,
I think you did a pretty good speech but you still have a lot you need to work on. The good things about your speech was the it was easy to follow and you gave a lot of detail about Guitar Hero. People who might not have known about Guitar Hero could check it out to see what all the hype is about based on your speech. Your volume was great and everyone could hear you and you spoke clear and at a good pace (which is something I need to personally work on). Your posture was good and you did not shuffle around which showed that you were comfortable up there and you did not let your nervousness affect your performance. Some things that need to be improved, however, is your speaking. You really shouldn't say "y'all" when your presenting or use any type of slang cause it downgrades your credibility as a speaker. When you spoke you mumbled your words a bit and took sudden breaks to regain your thoughts. I like how you were making eye contact but you were mainly focusing on one side and at times it did not look like you were looking at anyone. This lack of eye contact disconnected you with the audience and made you lose that one side's attention. Your powerpoint itself was a little dull. The black background and red lettering made it annoying to look at and a little hard to read. You also need to cite your sources more and include credibility in your intro. Overall I think you did pretty well and I feel that I learned a lot more about Guitar Hero. On a scale from one to ten I would give your presentation a 8 which could easily be a 10 if you make the following changes.
-DeFron
Luis,
Your speech on the New York Yankees was great.Your introduction was short and concise which was perfect because who wants a rambler that's not saying nothing. Your main poits were clear. You discussed the history of the team and players, the old stadium, and the new staduim. I repeated your points to show you that you did great on stressing and interpreting your points.You knew your info very well and it showed, especially when you gave the audience rudimentary info about the sport. You spoke loud and clear and at a fluid pace. You were slightly monotone except when you threw your couple of jokes in the presentation. Your non verbal body language was reminiscent to of a tv news weatherman which is good. Your conversational style of speech had very heavy informational influence in it which was was excellent. You can quote more verbal sources in your next speech though
My speech partner was Irving Pole. He presented his speech on Hydrogen Fuel Cars. The Introduction was short but funny, he added humor which made up for the fact that he forgot most of the intro because he was nervous.
His main points were very organinzed they related to each other well. His voice projection was loud and projective, everyone could hear what he was saying. He didn't use any slang and his choice of words were chosen well.
With eye contact, he looked around the room. Sometimes he would only look at the power point. His posture was good for some time, then he would lean on the table. He had alot of hand movement which might distract the listeners.
Somethings that he needs to work on are citing sources, his stance and gestures, and relaxing so he doesn't forget what he's going to say. Somethings that he did very well are the main points were clear and organized, humor added to the potential of the speech, and keeping a projective voice.
The conclusion to the speech was informational, he showed what the cars actually looked like, which was helpful even though the conclusion was short.
Overall I think Irving delivered a wonderful speech for his first time, he kept the audiences attention and I learned about the gas prices, greenhouse gas, and the hydrogen cars.
-Vanessa Maldonado
DeFron Dominick,
I would like to first start off by stating that I enjoyed your presentation. I found your speech to be very interesting as well as informative. I would have never known that this was your very first public speech,good job.
Though your speech was great, there were some things that you might have to work on and may need to improve. One thing that stood out in your speech was the rate at which you were speaking. There were times in your speech when you were speeding through your sentences. Another thing that you might have to work on was the use of your sources. Although we were able to see where you got your information and pictures from, you lacked to verbally use citations.
Despite those weaknesses, I once again felt that your speech was excellent. You were very clear about your main points. You were audible enough for us to comprehend what you were saying. I liked that you were very personable thoughout the entire presentation. I also liked that you could relate your presentation to everyone in your audience and that your speech had no age barriers. I also admired that you were able to remain yourself, when we got "the unexpected visitors".
By the end of your speech, I was convinced that Yahoo! was the ideal search engine.I am proud of you...Great job!
-EMMA
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