Hi Everyone,
I am pleased at how well everyone is progressing on your first speech. As we discussed in class, tonight and tomorrow night will be practice sessions in the library. You should rehearse at least twice with your assigned speech buddy the night before your presentation is due. (You should check blackboard under announcements for the two day speech schedule.) You need to place your speech critique using the feedback form under EOP assignments links on this blog. Compose your comments after rehearsal in the evening. The comments must be completed in the evening for next day credit. Give your partner some detailed suggestions on how to improve in content and delivery areas that are lacking.....and continued encouragement in those places that are going well. :). The comments must be a least one hundred words.
32 comments:
Diana made her speech very informative for the listener. She has key points and sub points to back them up. In her speech she put in quotes that are relevant to her topic and informative to the listener. I learned how healthy drinking wine daily can actually be and I also realized how many diseases it can help prevent. I enjoyed how her whole speech tied together and flowed. Diana also included connectives which again, helps her speech flow nicely. Diana included percentages and studies that makes me believe in what she is saying. All in all I enjoyed Diana’s speech.
Kelly did an awesome job on her speech. After the first time of reciting it, she sounded like she should have been in front of the classroom. She barely looked at her index cards which made me feel like she was having a real conversation with me. She made good points that related directly back to her thesis statement. Her introduction also told me exactly what the rest of the speech was going to be about which kept me interested. She provided examples that related directly to her topic about ponsi schemes. She needed a little improvement when it came to citing her sources within her speech. I think that Kelly will be very successful tomorrow when delivering her speech.
Gina’s speech was well delivered. Her introduction was very attention-grabbing. Her topic is unique and very interesting. She gives the audience a reason to listen. Something else I really liked is that she added her own personal experience into her introduction to keep the attention of her listeners. Gina’s topics are very clear and understandable. She adds supporting detail to enhance her credibility. She has a good use of vocabulary and language. Her voice projects nicely for her audience to hear. In her conclusion, Gina signaled she was ending her speech and then summarized her main points.Gina created a well-developed speech.
Brooke did an amazing job with her speech. The introduction had an attention grabber and due to the topic of her speech, it drew me in which made it even more successful. It contained points that were thorough and well researched. While speaking she enunciated each word carefully and there was not a point in time where I had trouble understanding what she was saying. Among her points, Brooke cited and integrated her sources within her speech very well so that it flowed and gave her a boost in credibility. Though she relied a bit too much on her index cards, with a bit of practice and repetition, Brooke will be able to use them merely as guides and deliver an excellent speech.
Marisa, GREAT JOB!! You have some excellent points in your speech. But you might want to make them a little stronger, by using more details and sub points. You can also develop each point more by adding in more developed ideas. Thus, making it easier for the listener to understand because there were a few parts during your speech where I was unsure of what was being talked about. By making the points easier for the audience to understand, the audience is going to be less likely to doze off and think about other things. Marisa, you had a great tone of voice you spoke clear and I could understand what you were saying (nice job). Also, you have some great facts just try to be more specific when citing them. The transitions between ideas were also harsh, try adding some connectors between main ideas.
Tiffany’s speech was amazing. She used a very good and funny visual in her introduction which caught my attention and kept it from the beginning. Her three main points were easy to understand and easy to follow. She has a little pause between point, so it was easy for me to know when she’s starting a new point and at the end of the points she always connects back to her main point. Her use of language is vivid and has a lot of useful details. Her language is also very easy to understand even though she has a lot of factual evidence. I think this is a good thing because even though she has a lot of information, I never felt as it was too overwhelming or confusing. She used good quotes and solid statistic from her sources. Her conclusion with “we’ve established…” which is a huge hint that she’s ending her speech and it also goes back nicely to the visual from the introduction. Visually, she smiled a lot at the parts that were funny which made me smile and eager to listen to her. The only thing that I told her to work on was her eye contact. She looked down a lot at her notes but I think with practice she will give more eye contact.
Janelle did a very good job on her speech; she had a very good introduction. She got her audience engaged right away pulling in their attention. Her main points were all clear; she knew what she was talking about and she referred to the citations throughout the speech. Her connectors helped to make the ideas flow from one idea to the next. Janelle used her voice well and spoke loud and slow, and changed the rate. She stood up straight without slouching. One improvement would have to be eye contact; she used her paper too much to refer back to. Her conclusion was good; she answered all the questions she earlier addressed. You knew it was the end of her speech she didn’t have to state it.
Aysha was moving from side to side due to nervousness, and began to play with her hair when she got stuck on words. She continually looked down at the ground and stopped in the middle of her sentences to look down at her notes. Body language was very droopy as if she didn’t want to be talking. Her voice was very low and discrete. On the other hand the information was solid and hand valid points behind them. I feel she should be more confident with the speech and be comfortable with her words. Nervous is what is keeping her from excelling in her speech. If she can correct these things she will be fine. I have much confidence in her.
Laura’s Speech had me engaged from the very beginning. Her introduction was very interesting and related to her topic perfectly. Each of her main points was well developed and I found it easy to follow both her transitions as well as her explanations. The vivid imagery given to me allowed me to really focus on what she was saying as she spoke. The detailed descriptions are what kept me engaged the entire time. Vocally her pitch was varied and she had a nice rate which was neither to fast or too slow. Her eye contact improved with each reading. She articulated very well and provided credible sources for each point. Her conclusion was very good and brought her paper to a close nicely. The only thing she needed to work on was not using “umm” so much.
Matthew started with a strong and confident voice that lasted through the entire speech. It was very evident that he knew his facts and the sources he obtained them from. Matthew’s speech flowed from one point to the next and it was very clear which points were what. His confident voice along with his strong pitch immediately grabbed my attention, not to mention that his opening words caught my notice too. Although Matthew had great points and great flow to his speech, there were some minor things he could improve on. For example, there were a few noticeable pauses through his speech. Also, his stance could make him appear more confident the way his words did. As a whole, I think Matthew did a great job and will do even better tomorrow with, of course, those two minor improvements.
Stefanie made an informative speech about the use of musicals from the 1950’s and 60’s and how they are still very much part of society today. As she began her introduction with an attention grabbing introduction that not only presented the audience with a question to connect with but an experience that also pulls you to her attention. As she lays out a foundation of familiar musicals her facts seem well supported and create a sense of objectivity. Stefanie maintains a flow as well as eye contact and articulation of words to where its easy to understand. Also her word choice fits the needs of the audience. Her point were clear and lead perfectly to her conclusion, where she smoothly came to a close and “tied the knot”.
Conchetta’s speech was good. She appeared calm and cool to me, even though, she may have been trembling inside, but she did not show it. Her main points were clear and her message along with her examples flowed and she transitioned well. Conchetta’s volume was loud and clear but she needed to slow down a bit because she was talking pretty fast. Conchetta also included her sources throughout her speech. She also needs to make more eye contact, but she ended on a good note with her conclusion. Her conclusion was a recap of her points and it left an impression. I enjoyed hearing Conchetta’s speech.
Sabrina excelled in effectively delivering her speech in an orderly professional fashion. She was able to clearly identify her main points and passionately spoke on the behalf of her topic "The Adam Walsh Child Protection Act". While her transitions and connectives could use some work her consistency showed vocally and visually with good posture and body language as well as a steady volume rate and pitch. Her sources were credible and well known which adds a certain reliability in her facts. The conclusion is still a work in progress but as a whole Sabrina has put together a terrific presentation on a tough issue. I was well informed, entertained, and she remained neutral in providing the facts essential to accomplishing the goal of providing a well rounded speech.
I was quite impressed with Eryk after he completed his speech this afternoon. His speech was based on why it is that college school dropout rates are on a rise. I must say, though, that there were a few areas that needed some work. For example, Eryk was relying heavily upon his note cards to recall information and transition to his succeeding points, which were, in fact, credible, interesting, firmly supported and relevant to today’s world, making him seem less of an expert upon his topic. It was also very difficult for him to hold my attention because he seemed unenthusiastic. He could have and can surely spice it up. Also, the introduction did grab my attention and previewed the body of the speech, which was great, but it lacked the purpose. I was not certain of the “why” I needed to know his information. I do believe he needs to arouse more curiosity upon his topic. Finally, Eryk needs more eye contact but does great with his overall presence. Overall, Eryk did a great job but I know he can do way better. I believe in him! =]
Jennifer had some good points and insights. But she did have a little struggle with the flowing factor. However, I feel she had a strong point to put forth and present to her readers. She needed some aid with citing her sources. However, she had a great strong voice and great eye contact.
Stephanie Acevedo
She started her introduction with an very interesting question, however she started off really nervous and kept moving around a same spot, she had some very clear ideas and she expressed it with confidence. She used her sources pretty well, but she got easily distracted, she knows a lot about her topic which means that she made a pretty good job on her research she had very good eye contact. The volume of her voice was very pleasant and audible.
Yolanda seems like a natural speech giver. She is articulate and has a meaning with her words. The introduction was very catchy but she lost her flow with it a little. Her points were clear with good facts to back them up. Connectives were ok, could’ve had a little more flow with them. She speaks clearly and with a sense that she knows exactly what she talking about. She wasn’t motionless with her speech and she added sum hand movement which made her seem like an expert. Her facts were good but could’ve been better. Her conclusion didn’t stand up to the rest of the speech, a stronger ending will definitely make the speech great.
Nick had a strong introduction. He had a good attention grabber and a strong “Did you ever notice that…” topic that he seemed passionate about. His three main points supported his thesis well and he showed great transition between points. He kept a steady pace and had a good range in his voice. Nick also had good use of body language, however, his speech could benefit if he made more eye contact. Nick’s conclusion as well as his entire speech flowed very well and had the ability to draw in your attention.
Paul was very informative. He had his audience in mind when he planned his speech. The content of his speech was very informative. He should learn not rely on his notecards while delivering his speech. It was appearant that he was nervous. He should learn to relax and not play with objects around him and not be as figgity. His introduction was very catchy. He asked a question in a way that connected to me and wich will connect to his fellow peers. He spoke clear and I could distinguish between each main point. He didnt use any citations at all. He finished his speech, overall, strongly.
Alisha struggled with her words through out the presentation but she kept strong and on point. She spoke loudly and clearly with a wide range of pitch which made her speech very interesting and entertaining. Although her stance was always switching and she was swaying back and forth, she made up for it with excellent eye contact. Alisha cited all her sources well and made it very clear tht her sources were believable. In all, she did a great job as her first time presenting her topic. The few things i believe she should improve on is her body movement and her constant lose of words. Good luck Alisha!
Corey delivered his speech quite well. He provided valid information and facts throughout his speech. He did allow the viewers/listeners to understand his topic. Corey seemed excited in presenting his topic and he engaged me/audience by questioning us. Corey has great eye contact; however he needs to work on his posing/stands. His tone and voice projection was good. I feel as though he does not need improvement in the voice projection area. Corey did allow for me to comprehend his subject and it was not boring. He tried to make the audience laugh but he needs to smile more. Corey conclusion was extremely weak; however he improved his conclusion the second time around. I must say, “Corey has a great topic and I cannot wait for him to present tomorrow.”
Corey also needs to use more connectors which will definitely allow for his speech to improve and become “the bomb.”
Juan has a very interesting topic. The novelty of his topic immediately draws the audience into his speech. One thing that he needs to do is establish credibility in the introduction by citing a creditable source. His main points were a little unorganized, but with a little more practice that problem should go away. Juan addressed the audience a little too much; he should engage them without drawing attention away from himself. It was a bit difficult for me to follow his message because his ideas were beginning to overlap and become confusing. His verbal pronunciation was a little hard to understand, but he appropriately altered the tone and pitch of his voice. He exploited his sources very well; citing sources on many occasions. The language that he used was very professional. One thing that he has to do is work on controlling his body movement. Juan tied together his ideas in his conclusion very well. The message he was trying to convey ultimately came through. If Juan keeps his ideas organized and controls his body movement he should deliver a great speech.
The introduction in Willie's presentation was very strong. Mentioning how many calories were in a big mac caught my attention and kept me listening for more shocking facts. I liked how he made it possible to relate to how eating the meals at Daly's Diner. His main points were interesting. He was a little too fast in speaking at first but toward the middle he became more comfortable and slowed down. He also appeared to be pacing nervously but soon realized and his nervous pacing turned to involving the audience into his speech. He had great eye contact and rarley looked down. The vocabulary he used came in variety and the souces were credible.He ened up delivering a terrific conclusion and left me surprised in the amount of information he gave.
Milana made her speech interesting from the start. She was a bit shaky with her introduction, she had too many pauses and "umms" but once she got the hang of it she allowed it to flow with minimal to no pauses at all. She allowed herself time to capture her ideas and words without losing train of thought. In her speech she included real life examples to allow the audience to relate and remain interested. I was not aware how the media today has changed the outlook on women in our society and what is now viewed as the "ideal woman". I felt that her message was clear and simple to follow. Her examples gave the impression as if she had done her research enough to backup the point she was trying to get across and what she wanted to inform me of. Although a bit timid, her overall presentation was enjoyable, her tone, body language, use of vocabulary and sources made it easy to listen to and entertaining. -Willie Emanuele
I thought that Steven’s speech was very informative. He chose a great topic that kept the audience interested. He spoke clearly although at some point he stuttered and seemed a little unprepared. He still needs some work. Although, he is beginning to feel comfortable with his speech I feel more practice is needed for him to be successful tomorrow. Confidence levels were low but on the contrary his engagement with the audience was very good. I liked his points he delivered them very clearly and his voice was projected nicely. I am confident in my partner that he will do great tomorrow if he can just fix these minor flaws.
Victoria’s speech begins with a lot of charisma. Her main idea sometimes overlap, but over all they are clearly delivered. It is very easy to understand what the main message of Victoria’s speech is. Although she establishes credibilty in the introduction, she would benefit from incorperating more sources in her essay. Her vocal articulation is great, but she might want to slow down her speech a little bit. Her eye contact is great, but her movement is a little too bit expressive. She should slow down her movements to make them more meaningful. Her conclusion is powerful, but a little choppy in expression. On a side note, her ideas are great but she needs to make them into concrete absolute statements. Although she speaks with conviction, she would sound more convincing if she had concrete research to touch upon. She should use some more obvious connectors in her speech to unify her ideas in a unified message.
Laura Diaz in your 10 am class and she did a great job on her speech. The good thing that she did in her speech was that she had a great voice. She projected the speech very well. It fluctuated when it needed to and was very conversational at times. Also I could tell that she knew her topic. She had confidence in her topic and knew what she was talking about. The thing that she needs to improve on is her stage presence. She looked down a lot and looked like she felt uncomfortable in front of people. She forgot to site in her speech which is also something that she needs to do during her speech day. Lastly she needs to say still. her feet was moving as she was saying her speech which was very distracting. Overall I liked Laura D’s speech and I think she will do a great job.
Shana is in your 10 am speech class. Shana’s speech was overall good. She started with a great introduction, which included a great example. Her example made the topic get a more serious feeling and it engaged me to listen. Shana had a good tone of voice. I did not feel bored at any point. She emphasized the important parts by citing them. She kept her eyes on her audience and never lost focus. Her research was great. She knew her topic and did not memorize her speech. The one thing that distracted me was her hand movement. Shana needs to avoid moving her hands when it ‘s not necessary. Another thing that caught my attention was that she looked at her note cards a bit too much. Shana knows her topic and needs to feel more relaxed. To sum up her speech, Shana had great points and delivered an amazing speech. Her speech was very informative. Good Job Shana.
Juan’s speech begins with a question which attracts the audience. I love his topic it’s definitely going to keep everyone intrested. He has to incorrporate credibility in the introduction. He has no source. I got a little lost with the main points hopefully tomorrow he fixes it. He needs to stop addressing thue audience because it draws attention away from him. Juan needs to deliver his message a little bit more clearly. He stumbles over word and needs to alter his voice. He cited his sources. I agree with Corey his language was very professional.He has to control his body movement and work on delivering a great speech tomorrow.
Dani speech was interesting to listen to. Her intro got straight to the point and she got me involved.The points let me know what the topic was.She kept with the message and never got off topic. The pitch was good the volume was up tone and informative. Her eye contact was okay she also got her hands involved.She included some sources and she let us know where they came from. But her conclusion could have been stronger though, she didn't end on as strong of a note as she began.
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